think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
