it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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