Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize