I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
