IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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