You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
