Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
