jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
