The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
