this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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