I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
