She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize