If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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