remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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