It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
