Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
