Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
