I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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