Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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