sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
