so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
