like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
