Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
