she was so not down for the gang bang
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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