How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
