Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I see more hoeing in ur future
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
