You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize