Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
