Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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