So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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