his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
