Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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