Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
