I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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