Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
