the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
