Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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