she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
