The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
