There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
