A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
