Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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