Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
