Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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