There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
