The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
meet me or not, i'm out of control
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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