i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
