i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
