The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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