I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
