I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Randomize
