Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You work out of a Hotel?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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