And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is wine microwaveable?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
