So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
