bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
