If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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