Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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