considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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