I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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