Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
