how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
