Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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