Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
