what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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